For many people, the countdown to a summer holiday begins weeks in advance. You can almost hear then sea lapping at the shore – or is it more like that catchy Jet2 social media jingle in your head? Are you already writing your packing list and the itinerary for the landmarks you’ll go see.
The promise of relaxation and a break from the daily routine is often seen as the perfect antidote to workplace stress. And every holiday looks different.
But ask yourself something? And be honest with the answer. DO you always come back refreshed and re-energised? Have you ever returned to feel just as exhausted as when you left. Do you, or someone you know, spend the entire trip checking emails? You might feel frustrated when travel plans don’t go to plan, while others become restless after only a few days of doing very little.
The issue isn’t necessarily the amount of time we take off. It’s whether we’re recharging in a way that aligns with what truly motivates us.
Many people assume relaxation looks the same for everyone. In reality, we all have different drivers that influence how we spend our time, how we make decisions and what helps us feel fulfilled.
For some, a successful holiday means having a detailed itinerary and making the most of every moment. For others, that same schedule can feel exhausting. They may prefer freedom, spontaneity and the ability to decide what to do each day as it unfolds.
Likewise, some people gain energy from connection and quality time with family and friends. Others recharge through independence, reflection and having space to think.
These differences can also explain why holidays sometimes create tension between couples, families and friendship groups.
One person may be motivated by adventure and new experiences, while another simply wants rest and certainty. One family member may want to fill every day with activities, while another dreams of sitting quietly by the pool with a book.
Neither approach is right or wrong. They simply reflect different motivational needs.
The challenge comes when we assume everyone should relax in the same way.
There are some common signs that you may not be recharging in a way that works for you.
You might feel guilty for doing nothing. You may find yourself constantly checking work emails. You could become irritated when plans change unexpectedly, or frustrated when others don’t share your enthusiasm for a packed schedule. Some people even return from holiday feeling more drained than when they left.
Rather than seeing these reactions as flaws, they can be useful clues.
Understanding what genuinely motivates us can help us make better choices about how we spend our downtime. It can also help us understand why those around us may have very different expectations of what a great holiday looks like.
As summer approaches, perhaps the real goal isn’t simply taking a break from work, it’s taking a break in a way that works for you.
After all, the most restorative holidays are rarely the ones that look perfect on social media. They’re the ones that leave us feeling energised, fulfilled and ready for whatever comes next whether that’s throwing yourself head first into a self-reflective retreat, a family festival or a cruise.
If you are reading this article and thinking – ‘ah I get it now’ but not sure what to do, then ask yourself some reflective questions:
- “What moments gave me energy on holiday?” Was it adventure? Connection? Quiet reflection? Learning something new? Simply doing nothing?
- “What was I naturally drawn towards when nobody was asking anything of me?” Your answer might reveal hidden motivations, unmet needs, or aspects of your life that deserve more attention when you return.
- “What did I enjoy most about the way I felt on holiday?” Perhaps you felt more creative, more connected, more spontaneous, more purposeful or more present. If you can choose one thing you can intentionally carry into everyday life rather than waiting until your next break to experience it again – then hopefully the holiday, whatever it was, will have a lasting impact.